major(s): film
I was close friends with Woody throughout his career at Small Liberal Arts University, and am one of the few he is still friends with. We met inauspiciously at a Freshman dorm mixer, where he was wearing a homemade Tshirt that had a picture of a monkey on it, with “NYHC” drawn onto its knuckles and “ska monkey” written on the back. I approached him saying “so… you like hardcore huh?” to which he replied “no, I don’t even know what that means. What’s your name? I’m Woody.”
Woody and I also started a tragically short-lived regimen of trying to bulk up, where we would drink creatine shakes (ugh) and then go lift blocks of weighted iron at the gym. Woody unceremoniously ceased this retarded practice when he went one day stoned and realized with a start that it was the most unenjoyable physical act he’d ever performed.
There’s many more stories, like when I finished my Senior film thesis and walked around the campus dejectedly with a bottle of vodka and two plastic cups, looking for someone to celebrate with, or when I guest DJ’d on his radio show and played Girlfriend In A Coma and he snorted “what is this gay shit?” (I also introduced him to the Clash and Sly & the Family Stone), but let us not dwell on the past.
Onward and awkward!
major(s): sociology
I lived in Woody’s floor Freshman year, and was one of the first people he ever socially interacted with. I formed a solid foundation in his mind of the “good hippie” mold (as opposed to the evil hippie) by being generous with my weed/positive vibrations, feeding my pet iguana, and strumming along absentmindedly to Eric Clapton.
I was there at the beginning! Woody witnessed my buying literally a pound of peyote on the internet, from which I brewed “tripping tea” (and of course nothing happened); Woody first ate pot brownies with me and had his existence rearranged; and I was there advising against Woody getting into a car with the drunkest schizophrenic in the universe, appearing like an after school special saying “give me your keys.”
Last Woody heard, I was a high-powered lawyer.
major(s): sociology
I look like I’m an athletic girl. Woody wagers that I swam and played volleyball. Meanwhile, HIS lanky ass was on the track and field team for all of zero days… The coach called him a few times Freshman year being like “practice starts Monday at 6 AM sharp” and he was all “are you kidding me? I did sports to get INTO college! Later, chump!”
major(s): sociology, women’s studies
Ah!
Small Liberal Arts University truly IS my home! I BELONG in this environment! Where else could a short-haired, boyish lesbian with an enormous hiking backpack be so comfortable than in this blissful, blissful bubble of non-reality?
major(s): english
Woody has never seen me smile before, outside of this picture. In fact, it was a running joke that I was so often seen with a haughty, contemptuous expression of such annihilating disdain that I emanated a 5 foot radius of scowling, and that flowers would wilt and wither away to dust in my presence.
major(s): latin american studies
I am but a simple Jewess
plucking ‘pon my guitar
I know that with my education
surely I will go far
etc etc
